This comic was originally posted on Everyday Feminism.
When we talk about consent, we don’t talk a lot about how consent changes in a relationship. People who have been partnered for 20 years sure as heck don’t negotiate sex and intimacy the same way that people who have met just do, and it would be ridiculous to suggest that they should. As our relationships change, we can use consent activities to build a structure that lets us make assumptions about what the other person wants.
So consent castles are pretty much my favourite thing. It’s how I talk about consent as being the root of a stable, trusting relationship. I like consent castles because they make consent a collaborative exercise – you have to build it together, and then you can live in a giant, beautiful (kinky/cuddly/furry/whatever) castle together. Who doesn’t want a great castle?