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It’s weird how so many people have been more certain than me about my potential family life, even though I’ve held consistent opinions on it for about 2 decades. As I’m getting older, firmly in the ‘sweet spot’ for when I should be getting pregnant, people become increasingly certain about insisting that ANY MOMENT NOW I will realize that the very thing I want out of life is an occupied uterus.

I’ve always been open to the fact that my views might change. I’ve changed a lot since I was 10, thank goodness. As an adult, I interrogate these goals and opinions fairly regularly, because I want to make sure that I’m giving myself the life I deserve. So I look forward in my life and imagine what I want. While I’m sure a future with children would have joy and fulfillment, when I think about that future I also think of a future that is undercut by regret.

It is currently impossible for me to get pregnant, thanks to a lack of partners with sperm and excellent birth control. But if I somehow found out I was pregnant today, my first call tomorrow would be to an abortion provider. This has been true for as long as I have been an adult. It would be a decision I make with certainty. Why is it so hard for everyone else to honour my certainty?

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